Saturday, July 27, 2024
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MY FRIEND LOU
There is a small hole in my heart today because Lou and I have been dear friends for almost 25 years. He was also my landscaper and he created a beautiful garden and retreat in my home that is magazine worthy. I will also upload photos so you can see his work.
Our whole neighborhood knew him well because Lou didn’t just come in and mow the lawn and leave like typical landscapers. He would help our older neighbors put up their Christmas trees, or he would be up on someone’s roof if they had a loose shingle, and he was often chasing escaped dogs (mostly mine) through the neighborhood and never charging us for this. He would often holler, “If I had a dollar for every time I chased your dogs I could retire!”
Because of our friendship, he knew my husband and children well- he watched my kids grow up. In fact, he saved both my sons from certain peril. When my youngest son, Sam, was 3 years old he crawled into our neighbor’s culvert and got stuck under their driveway. Naturally, I was frantic but Lou happened to drive by (he was always checking on his neighborhoods even when he had finished working for the day). Lou found something in his truck and hooked it around Sam’s foot and pulled him out- Sam was saved, I could breathe again. Some years later, my older son, Anthony, was home during a snowstorm while we were out of town for work. It was during those knucklehead teenage years and I threatened him to be sure the driveway was cleared of snow. I get home home to a sheet of ice and snow and dragged Anthony out in his barefeet, hollering at him to clear the snow. Again, Lou (who was checking on his neighborhood roads), drove by and saw this crazy woman yelling at her son. He gets out, saying “you’re going to kill that boy! Get him inside and I’ll plough the driveway” Anthony forever remembered how Lou saved him from being killed by his mother.
On snow days, Lou would always plough our road first because he wanted my husband, Tim (a surgeon), to get to the hospital safely for the sake of his patients. And Sam remembered how he would come back at the end of the day, exhausted from ploughing, I’m sure, to make a giant snow ramp for the neighborhood kids.
Three times a year Lou and I would drive up to Gasko’s Nursery in New Jersey to pick plants and flowers for the spring, summer, and Christmas seasons. It’s an hour and a half each way so we had a lot of time to talk about life. After loading and unloading way too many plants, Lou would say to me every time, “I’ll send you the bill and take off 25% for the counseling”
Of course, he was a consummate flirt to everyone, but he never compromised our friendship- it was too important to both of us. But that didn’t stop him from asking me to lunch each time we went on our Gasko trip. “We are just friends having lunch” he’d say, but I would insist we head straight home. This past June, when he was so very sick but still insisted on working (because that was who he was), we made our annual spring trip to Gasko’s. On the way back I said, let’s stop for pizza. “ Really?!”, he said “I’ve got to be dying of cancer before you’ll have lunch with me?” We both howled with laughter. He had a great self-effacing sense of humor-I can’t tell you how often he made me laugh.
And Man, was he a hard worker! Up at 4am and working hard labor all day. And he was so proud of his business, as he should be; starting out 30 years ago with a push mower and building his own self made company. He amassed a great knowledge of flowers, plants and trees, all of which was self-taught. Which meant you often had to learn the hard way after planting a row of trees that the deer ate the very next day. But he would be back planting deer-resistant ones that he had researched-never giving up.
Of course, we all know the prickly side of Lou, but I know, he had a solid and loyal character, the kind that is missing in the world today. And now we’ve lost another good man. So today, when I go out back to my beautiful garden and retreat that Lou built, that hole in my heart starts to ache because he was too young to die. But I know over time that he has given me a wonderful gift to remember him and our 25 year friendship. Rest in Peace, my friend.
Lauralei Clark and Family, Parkwood Lane